Sock Schadenfreude Diagnosis Checklist

Are you a sufferer of Sock Schadenfreude?

Symptom Yes/No
You have a drawer full of unmatched socks.
You have a preference for novelty socks.
You have a tendency to lose socks in the wash.
You have a sock drawer that is a hazard to your social life.

Scoring: 0-4 symptoms present: You are not a Sock Schadenfreude sufferer. 5-7 symptoms present: You are a Sock Schadenfreude sufferer. 8+ symptoms present: You are a Sock Schadenfreude sufferer of the highest order.

What to do? Consult a Sock Therapist

Or, if you're feeling adventurous: Perform a Sock Exorcism