The Art of Dwelling: A Beginner's Guide to Mastering the Universe

Chapter 1: The Fundamentals of Existence

What is this "Dwelling" thing, anyway?

You're asking the right question. Dwelling is a state of mind, much like the state of your fridge after a weeklong Netflix binge. It's the art of being, as the great philosopher, Bertrand du Poinçon, once said.

Think of it as the difference between a cat and a couch. One is a thing that exists solely for comfort, while the other is a thing that exists solely to be comforted.

Chapter 2: The Art of Not Caring

When in doubt, just shrug

You see, the key to dwelling is not to care. Not to care about the intricacies of life, the whims of others, or the temperature in your apartment. Just shrug, man. It's like the great philosopher, Marius P. Flibber, once said: "I care not, therefore I dwell."

Chapter 3: The Art of Not Doing

When in doubt, just don't

It's a delicate balance, my friend. The art of dwelling lies in knowing when to do and when not to do. When in doubt, just don't. It's like the great philosopher, Boris P. Nonaction, once said: "I do not, therefore I dwell."

Chapter 4: The Art of Not Thinking

When in doubt, just blank stare

And finally, the art of dwelling lies in knowing when to think and when not to think. When in doubt, just blank stare. It's like the great philosopher, Zephyr P. Mindless, once said: "I do not, therefore I do not, therefore I do not."