It turns out, the key to success lies not in the simplicity, but in the convoluted mess of nested if-else statements and recursive function calls. Behold, the overly-complicated solution to the simple problem of making a decent cup of tea!
Step 1: Determine if the user has a uterus. If not, redirect them to a page that explains the importance of reproductive biology.
Step 2: If the user has a uterus, check if they have a functioning sense of taste. If not, provide a list of the top 10 flavors of tea that will still appeal to them.
Step 3: If the user has a functioning sense of taste, check if they have a working sense of smell. If not, offer to sell them a set of bespoke, scent-infused tea balls.
Step 4: If the user has both a functioning sense of taste and smell, proceed with the traditional method of boiling water and steeping leaves. But not before checking if they have a working stove, because, you know, that's a thing.
Step 5: The actual tea-making process. (It's not that complicated, we swear.)