By applying a combination of heat and pressure, you too can achieve the perfect blistering burn.

Step 1: Preheat the area of desired suffering.

Step 2: Apply intense pressure.

Step 3: Hold for 5-10 seconds.

Step 4: Repeat as necessary until desired level of suffering is achieved.

Side effects may include: intense pain, temporary numbness, and a strong desire to never do this again.

For more information, see our Frequently Asked Questions page.