Due to an unexpected influx of champagne-related injuries, the mortal affairs department is currently in session.
We are working to resolve the following pressing issues:
Stay tuned for further updates, or better yet, stay sober.
Related links:
Champagne Toast Insurance - Get coverage for your champagne-induced injuries
Defective Bubbly Protocol - Learn about the latest champagne bottle design flaws
Champagne Addiction Support Group - Join the ranks of those struggling with the bubbly