Option 6: Acceptance - The Verdict is In

By accepting the terms of the Divine Intervention, you are hereby sentenced to a life of servitude under the watchful eye of the Heavenly Authority.

As the great and powerful Angel of Justice, I hereby declare you guilty of all manner of mortal transgressions, from the most heinous of crimes to the most minor of infractions.

Your sentence is as follows:

• 1000 years of community service in the pits of the underworld
• Renunciation of all worldly possessions, including but not limited to, your phone, your computer, and your cat
• A lifetime supply of holy water and a set of comfortable shackles

But do not despair, mortal. For in the grand scheme of things, your punishment is but a minor inconvenience. And besides, think of the character-building opportunities!

Option 7: Repentance - A Chance to Make Amends (But let's be real, it's probably not going to happen)

Option 9: Probation - A Slap on the Wrist (But only if you're really lucky)