Discount For Life Card - Fine Print
By signing up for this card, you're agreeing to our terms and conditions, which we've condensed into this tiny font size for your convenience.
1. You will receive one free hug from our CEO on Tuesdays.
2. You will be required to attend our quarterly sales meetings at our corporate office.
3. You will be subscribed to our monthly newsletter featuring the latest updates on our company's questionable decisions.
By signing below, you acknowledge that you've read and agree to these conditions, and also to the fact that our lawyers wrote this in 5 minutes.
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Disclaimer: Our lawyers are not actually lawyers. They're just people with a lot of paper and pens.