Behold, mortal, the most advanced scream-inducing technology known to humanity! This behemoth of a musical instrument will reduce you to tears in 3.2 minutes or less.
With its patented Scream-O-Matic feature, you'll be able to unleash a cacophony of ear-piercing frequencies that will shatter glass, rattle teeth, and make even the most hardened of souls question their life choices.
But don't just take our word for it! Read about our testimonials from satisfied customers who have had their eardrums shattered by our sonic terrorization.
Want to try it out for yourself? Click here to learn more about our affordable pricing plans, including our "I'll-never-hear-again" package.
Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try our Advanced Scream-Inducer Mode for an experience that will leave you questioning your very sanity.
Don't worry, we'll provide earplugs. Sort of.