The Rules of the Assaulted Club

Rule 1: Be Loud

Do not whisper, do not mumble, do not even use a normal speaking voice. Shout. Scream. Yell.

Rule 2: Be Unpredictable

Rule 3: Break Things (But Only on Tuesdays)

On Tuesdays, break everything. The rules, the furniture, the windows. Make it a Tuesday.

Rule 4: Be Irrepressible

Rule 5: Be Unapologetic

Say sorry, but mean it. Apologize, but don't really mean it. Apologize, but only if you have to.

Rule 6: Be Inconvenient

Rule 7: Be Uncooperative

Do not help. Do not assist. Do not even pretend to care.

Rule 8: Be Unpredictable (Again)

Rule 9: Be Disruptive

Disrupt the workflow, disrupt the peace, disrupt the whole shebang.

Rule 10: Be Inconsiderate

Rule 11: Be Unreliable

Do not be on time. Do not be on the same page. Do not even be on the same planet.