Tip 1: Secure Your Kibble
Keep your cat's kibble in a safe, undisclosed location. Label it with a series of cryptic symbols, like this:
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Then stare menacingly at your cat while they try to decode the meaning of these symbols.
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Tip 2: Use Unbreakable Codes for Your Food
Label your cat's food with unbreakable, invisible codes. Use a UV marker to write 'I AM NOT A CAT' on the side of every container.
Then, when your cat tries to break the code, pretend you're not home and leave a series of confusing, cryptic messages on the fridge.
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