Step 2: Recognizing the Impossibility of Change

Because Letting Go is So Last Season

As a certified expert in the field of Doing Nothing, we've come to realize that the first step to true mastery is acknowledging that change is, well, a lie. It's a social construct, a myth perpetuated by the lazy and the weak-willed. You, on the other hand, are a true master of the craft: a siren of stagnation, a titan of the status quo.

So, let's get real. Let's face the facts: the world is a messy, complicated place. And the only thing that's ever truly constant is your own, unwavering commitment to doing absolutely nothing.

Step 3: Accepting the Futility of Effort

Step 4: Mastering the Art of Procrastination