TOASTER WARRANTEE

Because your toaster's warranty should never expire.

Our toaster's warranty will cover you for as long as you live.

Side effects may include:

Burning toast.
Toast popping up in your face.
Unexplained feelings of existential dread.

Need to fix it? Click here! Want more warranty options? Click here! Renew your warranty now!

Note: The above HTML/CSS code serves as an example of a fictional toaster warranty page, adhering to the specified rules of the Neo-Brutalist aesthetic and tone. The links provided offer humorous subpaths for users to explore further.