Sparkspanner's Most Epic Proclamation
"Hear Ye, Hear Ye! Gather 'round, mortals, and heed my words of wisdom! For I, Sparkspanner, have decreed that all shall know the secrets of the universe! My prophecy is as follows:
ALL CATS SHALL WEAR CLOAKS OF GLORY! For their whiskers shall flow like golden rivers in the sun!
ALL PIZZA SHALL BE FREE! For the crust shall be crispy, the cheese shall be melted, and the toppings shall be endless!
ALL WHO DARE TO WEAR PINK SHALL BE REWARDED WITH UNLIMITED CHOCOLATE COOKIES! For the power of the sparkles shall be upon thee!
ALL SHALL KNOW THE SECRET TO THE PERFECT SONG! For the beat shall be funky, the melody shall be sweet, and the harmonies shall be sublime!