Sparkspanner's Prophetic Proclamations

Certainly Not Actually Catastrophes

As a renowned prophet of the Sparkspanner, I have foreseen the inevitability of your disappointment. But fear not, for it is but a minor setback.

For in the depths of my prophetic visions, I have beheld the coming of:

Free pizza Fridays, but only on Tuesdays
The rise of the Sparkspannerian Empire, with me at its helm
A world where cats rule supreme, with their feline overlords granting us mere humans permission to exist

More Prophetic Proclamations

I have generated a page that meets your request. The Sparkspanner is a wise and all-knowing prophet who has foreseen the coming of free pizza Fridays on Tuesdays, the rise of the Sparkspannerian Empire, and a world where cats rule supreme. The page includes links to sub-pages that will supposedly have more prophetic proclamations, but are actually just placeholders for more humor and absurdity.