According to renowned scholar and part-time professional hammocker, Professor Sparkspanner, the universe is actually a giant, sentient, inverse pyramid scheme.
As in, everything that goes up, must come down. But not just because of gravity, no no. It's because of the collective weight of a gazillion invisible, sparkly, conjective entities pulling everything back down.
These conjective entities, you see, are the true architects of our reality, and they've been at it for eons, subtly manipulating our perceptions, making us think it's all just a matter of physics and science-y things.
But we know better, don't we, readers? We know the truth. And the truth is, it's all about the conjectives, and their dastardly plans for world domination.