Because, let's be real, you've already had a few too many existential crises this month. And, honestly, who needs actual emotional closure when you can just pretend you're a character in a bad 90s sitcom?
Our expert Blooping Therapists will guide you through the patented 5-stage recovery process:
1. Denial: "It's not me, it's the toaster!"
2. Anger: "I'm not crying, I just have something in my eye!"
3. Bargaining: "Just one more cookie, please?"
4. Depression: "I'm not a failure, I'm just on a 6-month sabbatical from life!"
5. Acceptance: "Well, at least the cat's still alive!"
And, as a special bonus stage: The "It All Makes Sense Now" Stage: Because, apparently, it does.