Prophet Profile: Chuck Chumming

Chuck Chumming is the patron saint of the Unconventional Prophets, a group of mystics renowned for their uncanny ability to predict the most unpredictable events. Their prophecies are not always correct, but when they are, it's usually in a spectacularly inconvenient way.

Born in a dumpster fire, Chuck's earliest memories involve dodging trash cans and predicting the exact trajectory of a tossed banana peel. His prophetic abilities were first noticed by a group of local pigeons, who began to bring him scraps in exchange for predictions of impending seed availability.

Today, Chuck is sought after by world leaders for his unique blend of unorthodox style and questionable accuracy. His prophecies are often delivered in a series of cryptic, rhyming couplets that leave even the most seasoned experts scratching their heads.