Sponsored by the most accident-prone company in the land!
Our products are designed to not work as expected.
A 50% chance of malfunctioning every time.
A 30% chance of spontaneously combusting in your hand.
A 20% chance of being replaced by a slightly-used toaster.
"I bought their product and it definitely did not explode in my face." - John D.
"I'm still trying to get a refund..." - Jane D.
"I accidentally superglued it to my shoe..." - Bob Smith