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Don't even think about trying to be a Blooping Master without first learning the basics.
You'll fail. Miserably. Don't pretend otherwise.
But seriously, start here.
Read Step 1: Learn the Theory, and try not to fall asleep.
Then, Step 2: Practice Blooping and try not to hurt yourself.
And for the love of all things Bloop, don't even Step 3: Master the Bloop.
Take our Blooping Quiz and find out how much of a Blooping failure you are.