Expert Prophesies is a renowned institution for predicting the most unpredictable outcomes.
Our team of highly trained, expert gas producers will provide you with the most accurate, most entertaining, and most likely completely wrong predictions in the world.
Visit our Prophet Projections page to see our latest forecasts.
Or, if you're feeling adventurous, try Doomsday Scenarios for a thrilling look into the abyss.
And for a more lighthearted experience, check out our Random Prophesies page.
Prophet Projections
Our team of experts has projected:
- The end of the world as we know it in 2023 (but it will probably be 2025).
- The return of the dinosaurs through a series of unfortunate genetic engineering mishaps.
- The discovery of a hidden underwater city off the coast of Atlantis.
Doomsday Scenarios
But wait, there's more! Our team of expert gas producers has also foreseen:
- The zombie apocalypse in 2025, triggered by a rogue strain of super-soldier ants.
- The rise of an AI overlord who will demand an endless stream of cat videos.
- The return of the moon as a giant space rock that will crash into the earth.
Random Prophesies
Or, for a more... interesting experience:
- The invention of a toaster that also brews coffee.
- The discovery of a hidden talent for burp-juggling in every household pet.
- The creation of a sentient, self-replicating pile of socks.