Welcome, fellow doomsday preppers! This is the ultimate guide to surviving a zombie apocalypse, alien invasion, or other global catastrophes.
Step 1-5: Gather essential supplies: canned goods, water, non-perishable snacks, and a reliable source of entertainment (we recommend a well-stocked vinyl record collection).
Step 1-5: Choose a safe location (avoid areas prone to flooding, earthquakes, or spontaneous combustion), design for ventilation and sanitation, and construct using locally-sourced, sustainable materials.
Learn basic first aid, self-defense, and emergency communication techniques. We recommend taking online courses in "Zombie First Aid" and "Alien Diplomacy."
Establish a bunker hierarchy, set up a rotation for duties, and maintain a strict no-talking policy between 2 AM and 6 AM.