EMERGENCY PROCEDURES FOR THE POST-APocalyptic UNDERGROUND BUNKER

Section 1: Survival Protocols

• Article 1.1: In the event of a nuclear attack, don your finest "I SURVIVED THE APOCALYPSE" jumpsuit and proceed to the nearest bunker.
• Article 1.2: Conserve water by using the "2-minute rule": only shower every 2 weeks, or when the bunker's air recycling system is functioning properly.
• Article 1.3: In case of a zombie outbreak, refer to Section 2: "Zom-Pocalypse Protocol"

View Section 2: Zom-Pocalypse Protocol

Section 2: Zom-Pocalypse Protocol

• Article 2.1: When confronted with a zombie, maintain a 3-meter safe zone and attempt to reason with the undead using the art of "Zombie-Fu"
• Article 2.2: In the event of a zombie attack, activate the bunker's "Auto-Selfie" system to capture a selfie with your zombie nemesis for future reference.

View Section 3: Psychological Support

Section 3: Psychological Support

• Article 3.1: In the event of cabin fever, engage in "Bunker Bingo" to maintain mental acuity.
• Article 3.2: When experiencing existential dread, consult with Dr. Bunkerstein, our on-staff therapist.