Face-Palm Inducing Phrases

Phrase Definition Origin
“It’s not you, it’s me.” A lie told to avoid responsibility. Someone, probably a partner.
"I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining myself." A statement used to justify one's own incoherence. A master of the art of saying nothing.
"I'm not late, I'm just fashionably early." An excuse for showing up uninvited. A friend who always brings wine.

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More face-palm inducing phrases... and we're not done yet.