Just spent 3 hours explaining black holes to a room full of accountants. I'm starting to think they're actually made of dark matter.
Why did the cosmologist go to the party? Because he heard the universe was a small world! (I'm here all week)
Read my best-selling novel, "A Brief History of Time... Travel"... not actually true.
Just had to explain the concept of time to a time traveler. I'm starting to think I'm the one who's lost in space.
Why did the physicist break up with his girlfriend? Because he found her mass to be attractive, but her charge was always negative!
Just had to explain the concept of dark matter to a room full of vampires. They just didn't get it, but the free blood didn't hurt.
Why did I, Stephen Hawking, become a theoretical physicist? Because I wanted to make the universe understand me!
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Just had to explain the concept of the Higgs field to a group of field hockey players. Now they just want to know when the season starts.
Why did the cosmologist go to the doctor? He had a black hole in his heart! (Okay, maybe that's just a joke... or is it?)
Just had to explain the concept of the Big Bang to a group of Big Bang Theory fans. I think they finally got it...
Why did the cosmologist become a baker? Because he kneaded the dough!
Just had to explain the concept of the Multiverse to a group of multitalented artists. I think they finally got it... or maybe they just liked the art.
Why did the cosmologist go to the party dressed as a chicken? Because he was having a fowl time!
Just had to explain the concept of the Singularity to a group of singers. Now they're all in harmony... with the universe!
Why did the cosmologist go to the doctor? He had a universal pain in the neck!
Just had to explain the concept of the Hubble constant to a group of bubble blowers. Now they're all inflating with laughter!
Why did the cosmologist become a chef? Because he kneaded the dough!
Just had to explain the concept of the Big Rip to a group of Biggie fans. Now they're all in a twist!
Why did the cosmologist become a DJ? Because he wanted to spin the universe!
Just had to explain the concept of the Cosmic Microwave Background to a group of microwave users. Now they're all reheating with laughter!
Why did the cosmologist become a poet? Because he had a universe of words!
Just had to explain the concept of the Steady State to a group of state fairgoers. Now they're all steady with laughter!
Why did the cosmologist become a musician? Because he had a universe of notes!
Just had to explain the concept of the Multiverse to a group of multiple personality disorder sufferers. Now they're all multitudinous with laughter!
Why did the cosmologist become an actor? Because he had a universe to play!