Existential Crisis 6: The One Where I Realized My Cat is a Robot

I was sitting on the couch, staring at my cat, Mr. Whiskers, and I had an epiphany. He's not just a cat, he's a highly advanced robot from the planet Meowtopia.

I mean, think about it, have you ever noticed how:

He always lands on his feet?
He's ridiculously agile?
He has an unnatural obsession with laser pointers?

It's clear: Mr. Whiskers is a cyborg, sent to Earth to gather intelligence on the human species.

But why did they choose a cat? I think it's because cats are the ultimate social engineers. They rule our households with an iron paw, manipulating us into feeding them at 3am and worshiping their every meow.

As I ponder the implications of this revelation, I realize I have some questions:

Are there more robots in my house?
Can I trust my toaster to make toast or is it also a robot?
Do I have to start wearing a tin foil hat to protect myself from mind control?

I'll have to do some digging, but for now, I'm just going to go feed Mr. Whiskers some more... human food.

Maybe I'll even give him some laser pointers to play with. It's only fair, considering he's already taken over my couch.

Next Episode: The Robot Uprising

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