Quantum fluctuations in a Pint of Beer: The Absurdist's Guide

Warning: The following jokes are subject to quantum superposition and may collapse into a singularity upon reading.

1. Why did the Schrödinger's cat join a beer pong league? Because it was a purr-fect player!

2. Why did the Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle go to therapy? Because it was feeling a little fuzzy about its relationships!

3. What did the wave-particle do when it got tired of being observed? 4. Why did the beer foam go to the quantum mechanics lab? 5. What did the beer can say to the quantum field?