Why indeed not to get up in the middle of the night? It's not just a question of convenience, my friend. It's a matter of survival. You see, when you rise from slumber at 3:47 AM, you invite a host of terrors upon yourself.
Beware, dear reader, for the perils of mid-sleeping are many and varied:
- Spontaneous Human Combustion (SHC) Syndrome: It's a real thing, I swear.
- The Sudden And Terrifying Appearance Of The Midnight Marmot (SATMM)
- The Unrelenting Desire To Check Social Media: Because, let's be real, someone, somewhere, might be having fun while you're sleeping.