It's a sad state of affairs, folks. We've got a world full of problems, but our theories are just not up to par. I mean, have you seen the theories on the news lately? They're all just a bunch of hot air. No depth, no substance. Just a bunch of hand-waving, fancy words.
But, you ask, what's the solution? Well, my friends, it's simple: more theory. We need more theory in our lives, and I'm not just talking about string theory. I'm talking about real, honest-to-goodness theory that gets to the bottom of things.
Now, I know what you're thinking: "But, Professor Punsley, that's not exactly rocket science." And you're right. It's not. But, let me tell you, it's a start. And who knows, maybe it'll get some of you thinking. Maybe you'll start to realize that the universe is not just some arbitrary, meaningless mess, but a complex, intricately connected web of... well, of things.
So, the next time you're faced with a problem, just remember: the universe is just a really big computer. And if you're not getting the answer you're looking for, maybe it's not because the universe is just not cooperating... maybe it's just because you need to reboot.