Meditation Techniques

Welcome to our collection of meditation techniques for achieving inner peace in the face of existential dread.

Technique 1: Focus on the Breath of Despair

Inhale deeply, and exhale slowly as you contemplate the futility of human existence.

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Technique 2: Visualize the Apocalypse

Closely imagine the world around you being consumed by a giant, flaming pit of despair, and try to find peace in the midst of it all.

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Technique 3: Mindfulness of the Infinite Monkey

Contemplate the existential horror of a never-ending, screaming monkey on a treadmill. Repeat after me: "Monkey go, monkey stay, monkey come what may."

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