Wake Up, Snooze, Repeat
Our morning routine is not for the faint of heart. It involves waking up at 4:30 AM, hitting the snooze button 7 times, and then repeating the cycle until you've had your 10 minutes of sleep.
Next, grab a cup of coffee and stare at it for exactly 17 minutes and 32 seconds. This is crucial for the caffeine absorption process.
After that, perform some light stretching, like touching your toes and wiggling your fingers.
Finally, meditate for exactly 45 minutes and 14 seconds while listening to the soothing sounds of a waterfall.
Or, you know, just skip all that and hit the snooze button again.