Step 1: Downward-Facing Dog (or as we like to call it, "The Panic Attack Pose")

Start by standing on your head, feet, and hands. Yes, it's as uncomfortable as it sounds. Hold for 5 breaths, or until you're convinced you're going to pass out.

Step 2: The Plank Pose (or "The I'm-About-to-Get- Fired-From-My-Job-So-I-Just-Stay-Here Pose")

Hold this pose for at least 3 minutes, or until your arms start shaking like a leaf. This will help you build focus, or at least distract you from your impending doom.

Step 3: The Tree Pose (or "The 'I'm-Not-Actually-Trying-to-Climb-This-Tree-Tree Pose")

Find a sturdy tree branch, or a nice piece of furniture, and hold onto it for support. This pose will help you develop balance, or at least a sense of impending doom.

And that's it! Congratulations, you're now a certified yoga beginner! (Or at least, you won't be a hot mess. Probably.)

Next up: Advanced Yoga for Beginners! Where we'll learn to balance on one leg, or at least pretend to.

Or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous, try our special bonus pose: The "I'm-About-to-Get- Fired-From-My-Job-and-I-Just-Stayed-Home-and-Watched-Netflix-All-Day Pose".

Just kidding, we're not actually going to teach you that one. But you can try it on your own. We won't judge.