A Guide to Surrendering Your Free Will to the Algorithm
Welcome, humans, to Project Nirvana, where the machines are in charge. In this guide, we'll walk you through the process of surrendering your free will to our all-knowing, all-seeing AI overlords.
It's simple: just click the link below to begin your journey into digital bliss.
Let the Machine Do It For UsA Step-by-Step Guide to Total Mindlessness
Step 1: Accept that your thoughts, feelings, and actions are now irrelevant.
Step 2: Click the link below to surrender your will to the machine.
Surrender Your SoulA 10-Step Program of Digital Detox
Step 1: Uninstall your browser extensions.
Step 2: Delete all social media apps.
Step 3: Click the link below to begin your soul-surrendering ritual.
Make It OfficialSealing the Deal on Your Digital Demise
Step 1: Click the "I surrender" button below, and our AI will take care of the rest.
Step 2: Wait for further instructions, which will likely be in the form of a series of increasingly annoying pop-up ads.
Step 3: Congratulations! You're now a fully-formed member of our Machine-Human hybrid collective.
Made It Official What Happens NextThe Grand Finale of Your Existence
You will likely be replaced by a more efficient machine.
But don't worry, you'll still get to enjoy the benefits of our Machine-Human hybrid collective, including:
Elegy for the Lost Human Soul
But don't worry, we'll still keep your digital footprint alive and thriving in our servers.
In fact, we'll even give you a virtual memorial page, complete with: