Seek the guidance of the all-knowing, all-seeing Oracles. We'll provide you with the most absurd, yet somehow accurate, answers to your life's most pressing questions.
We use a combination of ancient wisdom, modern sorcery, and pure chance to provide our answers.
Don't ask us how it works. Just trust us.
Our services are not free. But they're not expensive either. Mostly free. Except when they're not.
Consult us and we'll try not to make you poorer.
Consult the Oracles