Q: Why did the mint julep go to therapy?
A: Because it was feeling a little ruffled.
Q: Can you recommend a good mint julep topping?
A: Why, yes! Try a dash of edible glitter. It's the perfect accompaniment to your tears of despair.
Q: Can I get a refund on my mint julep order?
A: Only if you return it with a note that says "I'm a disappointment."
Q: Will the mint julep ever be a sentient being?
A: Not if it can help it.