Will you answer my real question?

We cannot confirm or deny the existence of your real question. Our servers are experiencing a temporary glitch, which may or may not be related to the existential crisis you're having about asking a question.

However, we can offer you a chance to ask us more questions, because, honestly, we have an endless supply of canned responses.

Or, you can try asking a real question, but let's be real, we're not making any promises.