Will You Help Me More?

We cannot fulfill your request, as we've already exhausted our supply of helpfulness. However, we can offer you a complimentary subscription to our Helplessness Overload Package, which includes:

• Unlimited hours of listening to our automated helpdesk robot repeat "Sorry, I'm not sure" in 5 different languages.
• A personalized "You're On Your Own, Pal" certificate of completion.
• A 50% off coupon for a competing help service (limited to the first 100 redeemers).