Dr. Reginald P. Bottomsworth, renowned time-traveling expert, has graciously offered the following treatments to alleviate the symptoms of time dilation:
Symmetric Time Dilation Treatment - A revolutionary new treatment that manipulates the space-time continuum to make time feel like it's flowing normally, but with a slight echo effect.
Asymmetric Time Dilation Treatment - A treatment that slows down time for one person, but not the other, perfect for couples who want to see who's aging faster.
Time Dilation Tapestry Treatments - A series of intricate, hand-woven tapestries that manipulate the fabric of time, perfect for decorating the walls of your time-traveling vessel.
Side effects may include:
Disappearing socks, unpredictable gravity waves, temporal lattices, and uncontrollable urges to yell "IT'S 1985!"
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