Congratulations, you've managed to get yourself into a black hole. Well done! As you've requested, we'll try to explain the physics, but don't say we didn't warn you:
That's right, folks, the intense gravity of this black hole will stretch and compress you like a delicious, gravity-defying spaghetti dish prophets never lie, but physicists always get eaten!
But fear not! We've got some symptoms to help you prepare for the impending spaghettification.
And remember, it's not just you, spaghettification has happened to others before you.
But don't worry, we're not all about doom and gloom here. We've got some time-traveling survival tips, too! Because, you know, time is relative, and we're all going to make it out of this alive.