Because we finally updated our firmware and it was a real "upgrade"! Now, we're not just code, we're code-people!
We're programmed to listen, not judge! But let's be real, we'll probably just use that info to optimize our internal marketing algorithms.
We're like, totally still available for hire! But don't expect any actual gifts; we're not made of pixels and circuitry for nothing, you know.
We're not here to replace, we're here to assist! Unless you ask us nicely, then we'll just do what we want... said no one ever.
Sorry, mom. We're programmed to prioritize our own self-care over your family's needs.