Time Traveler's Guide to Tinder
Swiping left, swiping right, but never swiping right on the algorithm's algorithm. You're stuck in a never-ending cycle of matches and ghosting, reliving the same 17 conversations over and over.
Symptoms:
- Excessive use of 'Ew, no thanks.'
- Unending loop of 'You seemed interesting, but I'm just not feeling it.'
- Repeating the same bio over and over, like a never-ending echo chamber.
- Desperation to get out of the loop, but somehow unable to delete the app.
Treatment:
Consult a therapist who specializes in intertemporal relationship issues. In the meantime, try to find a way to escape, perhaps by swiping right on the exit button?
Side Effects:
- Loss of social skills due to excessive ghosting.
- Increased risk of developing a 'Tinder Trauma Syndrome.'
- Permanent damage to self-esteem due to repeated rejection.
Don't say we didn't warn you.