Welcome to the Time Paradox Department, where the fabric of spacetime is held together by duct tape and prayers.
You've got a time machine, but it's not just any time machine. It's a time machine that only goes back in time 5 minutes, and when you try to go further, it just gives you a really bad case of déjà vu.
Don't even get us started on the grandfather clause. That's just a real time-suck.
But don't worry, we've got a solution for that: Bootstrap Fixers, the team of experts who can fix your time machine in no time.
You've got a time machine that can only go back in time to moments you've already lived through, but you're trying to prevent a tragedy that's going to happen. Sounds like you're stuck in a predestined loop, friend.
Don't worry, we've got a solution for that too: Escape from the Loop, our team of temporal troubleshooters can help you break free from the cycle of inevitability.
It's like this: you go back in time and you're like "Hey, I'm from the future!" but nobody believes you because you're not wearing a sufficiently futuristic jumpsuit. Yeah, that's a timey-timey problem.
Don't worry, we've got some Timey-Timey Jumpsuit experts who can help you blend in with the locals.
That's all for now, folks! If you've got a time paradox that's got you stumped, just ask us and we'll try to help.