Q: Why did I just spend 30% of my salary on a pillow that smells like a mixture of fresh-cut grass and despair?
A: Because, friend, you needed to wake up to the harsh realities of adulthood, and this pillow is the gentlest slap in the face you'll ever receive.
Q: Will this pillow ever be out of style? Or will it be the epitome of coolness, like that one cousin who still listens to vinyl?
A: Ha! The pillow's avant-garde design will never truly be out of style. It'll be like trying to date a futurist, always a bit behind but still somehow ahead of the curve.
Q: Can I wash it with regular soap, or will I risk turning the fabric into a sentient, judgmental being that mocks me for my poor life choices?
A: Oh, don't worry! The pillow's patented fabric is resistant to the harshest of soaps, but do be prepared for it to develop a sassy attitude if you try to wash it too often.
Q: Will the pillow ever make me late for work, or will it be the cause of my tardiness, like a rebellious teenage daughter?
A: The pillow will be a constant reminder that time is a human construct, and that your tardiness is merely a product of your own existential crisis. But don't worry, it won't make you late for work. That's just your own doing.