Temporal Scheduling FAQ

Because time is of the essence, but also because our lawyers are on the phone, here are some frequently asked questions:

Q: What is a time machine?

It's a thing we're working on. Just a thing. Don't ask too many questions.

Q: Can I use it to avoid taxes?

No. That's just not how it works. You can't use it to avoid taxes, but you can use it to avoid awkward family reunions. That we're pretty sure is a thing.

Q: Is it safe?

Safe enough. We're not responsible for any temporal paradoxes caused by our product. You're on your own, pal.

Preventive maintenance schedule

Note: All times are approximate and subject to change. Unless you're using the time machine. Then all times are exactly right. But don't tell anyone.