Caught Between the Wires: Time Dilation Pitfalls

You're experiencing time dilation symptoms? Don't worry, it's just the space-time continuum having a crisis. But seriously, you're stuck between two wires, and they're not even connected to anything interesting.

Symptoms:

• Time seems to be passing at a rate of 1/10th the speed of light
• Your hair has grown an extra 5 inches due to the intense time dilation field
• You can hear the sound of distant, mournful trombones echoing through the fabric of space-time

Treatment:

• Try not to think about it, it's not like it's a big deal or anything
• Take up knitting or something. It's a good way to pass the time
• Call a professional time-traveler, like that one guy who's been stuck in the timestream for 37 years

Call the professional Knit your way to freedom