Trilobite Payouts: Because who needs a 401k when you're a giant armored creature from the Paleozoic era?
Our Trilobite Payouts plan covers all of your prehistoric needs: from trilobite-sized dental coverage to fossilized life insurance.
Don't wait for a asteroid impact to ruin your financial plans - get Trilobite Payouts today!
Side effects may include: spontaneous combustion, fossilization, and/or being eaten by a T-Rex.