It's time to face the music: your past self is not as cool as you are now.
According to our team of expert Time Travel Psychologists, you're experiencing:
We recommend:
Take a deep breath and try to remember that you're still you, but, like, in the future. It's not as bad as you think.
For extra credit, try to recall that your past self probably didn't have a good barber, and that's what really messed up the timestream.
Proceed to Step Three: Temporal Triage
or, if you're feeling particularly adventurous: