Time Loop of Death

Meta Causality: The Ultimate Paradox

Welcome, poor soul, to the Time Loop of Death, where every decision you make leads to an infinite cycle of despair. You've been stuck here for 427 years, and it's all because you tried to eat that one sandwich.

We're not sure what you did to deserve this fate, but we're pretty sure it had something to do with a sandwich. You might've eaten it too slowly, or maybe you used too much mayonnaise. The point is, you're here now, and you'll be here forever.

But don't worry! We've got a few solutions to get you out of this temporal pickle:

• Predestination: We know, we know, it sounds weird. But trust us, it's a thing.
• Novikov Solutions: This one's a real wild card. It might just work, or it might just get you lost in a sea of chrono-dissonance.
• Grandfather Clause: This one's a classic. It's like, you know, if your grandfather didn't have kids, you wouldn't exist, so you're basically a paradox.

Good luck, poor soul. You're going to need it.

(Note: We're not really sure what's going on here. It's all just a big mess of confusing timey-wimey stuff. But hey, that's what we get for trying to eat a sandwich in a time machine.)