Time Machine Maintenance: Safety Protocols

**Pre-Flight Check:**

1. Chrono-Selfies: Verify that your temporal self has been properly secured with a time-traveling helmet and a decent Instagram filter.

2. Time-Test-Kit: Ensure all temporal displacement devices are functioning within 4.32% of optimal efficiency.

3. Temporal-Backup-Plan: In the event of a temporal paradox, have you made arrangements for a reliable exit strategy?

4. Displaced-Object-Insurance: Confirm that all objects displaced during time travel have been properly insured against unforeseen chrono-consequences.