Temporal Surgery 2.0: Time Dilation Techniques

Warning: Do not attempt to perform Time Dilation surgery on yourself or others without proper training. Results will be unpredictable and possibly catastrophic.

For the faint of heart, we recommend using our patented ChronoClamps, which can be purchased for the low, low price of $10,000.00.

For the more adventurous, we offer a variety of Time Dilation Techniques:

• Alcubier Effect: Slow down time for 1-5 minutes, perfect for: procrastination, watching cat videos, or recharging your coffee mug.
• ChronoBubble: Create a localized time bubble around yourself, ideal for: avoiding awkward social interactions, taking a nap, or binge-watching your favorite show.
• TimeLoops: Create closed timelike curves, perfect for: re-doing that one presentation, re-taking that one math test, or re-reading that one novel you never finished.

Disclaimer

By accessing this website, you acknowledge that you understand the risks associated with Time Travel and Time Dilation. We are not responsible for any damage or trauma caused by our products or services. Use at your own risk.

Patent Pending