Toaster Traveler Safety Tips

• Don't get your circuits crossed

  When dealing with time paradoxes, always remember:

  • A toaster that's been to the future is always right.
  • But a toaster that's been to the past is wrong.
  • Unless it's been to the past, in which case it's still wrong.

• Beware of toaster radiation

  Prolonged exposure to toaster radiation can cause:

  • Crispy skin
  • Melted eyebrows
  • Permanent damage to your sense of time-space continuity

• Don't get stuck in an infinite loop

  To avoid getting stuck in an infinite loop, always:

  • Check your toaster's manual.
  • Consult a toaster expert.
  • Call a toaster hotline (1-800-TOASTER-911).

Preventing Toaster Burnout: Learn how to avoid the dreaded "Toaster Burnout"ประกassistant